“The Gift That Keeps On Giving” by Joan Doane

“The Gift That Keeps On Giving”

Note: To listen to Joan read this poem, go here.

I check again in the mirror, and it's still very there,

on my chin, it's a dark one – a really long hair.

Because tonight’s important I made sure it was clear,

and I carefully checked in my 5X, 10X and 12X mirrors!

But there it is, out and waving, for all of you to see;

such is life – as a girl – when she’s over fifty. 

The hair on my head's turning white as the snow,

but the hair on my chin? Oh, no, no, no, no.

White ones, black ones, brown ones, grey!

I wonder how many I'll have each day!

My hair leaps and it frolics while I'm in my bed,

and covers me quickly from my toes to my head.

But the sturdiest bunch are grown just for my face;

the more important the occasion, the faster the pace.

The Good Lord, in his wisdom (and I've no doubt it's a he!)

Thought, “Now, what can I give her, as a kind of ‘services fee’?

She's raised a few children and volunteered time,

slept with My Gift-to-Women and cooked meals on a dime.

She’s used up her youth, and her vigour and vim...

I know! I'll put hair on her chinny-chin-chin!"

"I'll give her surprises! One day at a time!

One day there'll be none - the next day there'll be nine!

I'll make them all colours! Like the peoples of the world!

Some will be straight, and some will be curled.

I'll put some on the left, and then some on the right

and I'll save the really dark ones as a special highlight."

Hey, that's what He said, and He's done it up right.

Like the Tooth Fairy gone whacko, chin hairs come in the night. 

I've tried, and I'm failing to keep them at bay.

“Just be natural, embrace them” my friends they all say.  

But I still wage a good battle – for now, on grooming I'm stuck,

for I know the age is coming when I won’t give a pluck!

Joan Doane has been many things in her life an lately has taken up writing. A humorist, Joan’s essays appeal to both men and women, those of a certain age and those just making their way there. Joan is also the proud co-founder of the Georgetown Wordsmiths, a creative writing group in Georgetown, Ontario, that brings together an assortment of personalities and a gamut of genres and offers support and encouragement, a writing exercise or two and always a laugh. Visit Joan’s website here.

See Brian Henry’ schedule here, including writing workshops and creative writing courses in Barrie, Brampton, Burlington, Caledon, Cambridge, Collingwood, Georgetown, Guelph, Hamilton, Kingston, London, Midland, Mississauga, Newmarket, Orillia, Oakville, Ottawa, Peterborough, St. Catharines, Stouffville, Sudbury, Toronto, Halton, Kitchener-Waterloo, Muskoka, Peel, Simcoe, York, the GTA, Ontario and beyond.