“A Purrrfect Purrrspective” by Michelle Wheaton

I sit and I wait. I’m lying on my comfy spot on the couch, waiting for my mommy to come home from wherever she goes for so long. Hmm, I’m hungry, I guess I’ll get up and get a bite to eat. There’s not much food left in the contraption that’s designed to make me work to get at the food. My mommy says I’m getting fat. Sometimes she grabs my belly and goes, “Look at that belly, it’s so fat!”

But that’s okay. Sometimes I lay on her tummy and think the same. 

Oh! I hear something! I think the front door is about to open!

Yep, I was right, I’m always right, she’s home!

I sit up on the couch and stare at her. She looks at me, smiles, and touches my head. Then she grabs my face and starts wiping my eyes with her fingers. Ugh, I hate when she does this. I try to squirm out of her grip, but she keeps a firm grip with one hand while wiping my eyes with the other. She finally stops and has a big smile on her face and then kisses me on the forehead. I wonder if all humans are as crazy as she is.

She goes into the room where my larger water bowl is – the water bowl that makes the water swirl. I like that bowl the best, much more room and it never runs out of water.  She’s in there for a while. I hope she’s still alive, I’m hungry again.

I scratch and yawl at the door and as usual she lets me in. She’s sitting on my water bowl. Ugh, the nerve of her. That’s where I drink from. She gets up and I immediately jump on the bowl to get a quick drink. But then I look at the water. Hmm maybe I should wait before proceeding.

With a whoosh, the water in the bowl goes round and round and quickly back to normal, and I’m about to go in for a drink, then suddenly I’m off the bowl and onto the floor. This happens to me a lot. 

Mommy’s now lying on the couch, so I hop up beside her. She’s staring at the folding light up box. She has two light up boxes, one that opens and closes and a bigger light up box that stands against the wall. She stares at her light up boxes a lot. I don’t know what she’s looking at so intensely, sometimes I play a game and stare at her while she’s staring at a light box and see how long it takes her to notice me.

Sometimes when she’s looking a light box, she makes loud, sudden noises. It’s like she has no control over it. Her belly goes up and down really fast, and she’s so loud, it startles me. Other times she stares at a light box and water starts rolling down her face, and I can sense she isn’t feeling good. I go and cuddle her when this happens. Maybe I should cuddle with her now just in case. I go to her and climb onto the folding light up box.

No! I’m on the floor again. 

I jump back onto the couch and sit beside her and give myself a bath. I like to keep her close at all times, so I can keep an eye on what she’s doing.

Huh! What is that smell? I never smelt that before. I jump over my mommy and check it out. The smell is coming from the big white food box. I sniff and sniff, I think the smell’s coming from behind the big food box. I try and squeeze myself between the food box and the wall, but the crack it too small. I keep trying because the smell is so strong and unusual. I have to know what it is!

Hmm, maybe if I paw at the big food box it will move. My mommy is behind me now. She must smell the smell too. She’s calling my name, and asking me what it is.

But now the smell is now gone I continue to sniff around in case I can catch the scent again but no luck. I decide to wait in case it comes back, but my mommy’s lost interest. She goes back to the couch and starts making those weird noises again. 

It’s been ten hours and still no smell. I decided to sleep in front of the big food box just in case. Persistence and patience is key. My tummy starts to rumble, it’s about that time my mommy feeds me the good stuff. It’s so delicious, much better than the crunchy food that is left in that contraption all the time.

I go into the room and jump on Mommy’s bed. I stare at her for a bit and wait. Sometimes she wakes up herself, which makes everything easier. No luck. Okay, eyeballs it is! I go up to her pillow and lay right beside her face – this works every time by the way, it’s my best trick! Her eyes are closed now, but wait! When I go to wash them they’ll open!

"Maus"

And like I said it works! She opens her eyes, makes an unpleasant sound. And, whoops, I’m on the floor. That’s okay, it’s all part of the game. I’ll just jump back onto the bed and do it again. Eyeball, floor, eyeball, floor! One time Mommy and I played this game and I had to lick her eyeballs thirty times before she got up to get me my delicious food! Today it took ten eyeball washings were enough. 

Mommy leaves to go wherever she goes all the time and I’m home alone. I decide today I’m going to sleep in the medium-sized box. Mommy has boxes laid all over the house for me. We have at least five boxes, all different sizes. I’m lucky that way, though Mommy’s friends must think she’s a crazy box lady.

As I’m lying in the best box in the house, I smell something!

OH MY GOODNESS THE SMELL IS BACK!

I rush up and it’s coming from the big white food box again. I run over and I see it! It runs from under the food box, and into a hole under a cupboard!

I SAW IT!

It’s much smaller than me and it moves pretty quick. It has a long thin tail, not furry like mine though. It has four legs and did I mention, so quick!

I examine the hole it went into. The hole is much smaller than the fuzzy thing. How did it fit?

I can’t wait to tell Mommy about this when she gets home!

Mommy finally gets home and I tell her all about the thing I saw today. I rub against her leg and she seems really happy to hear. She picks me up and hugs me. I think she’s just as excited about this furry thing as me!

The next morning, I only have to lick Mommy’s eyeball four times for her to get up and get my food. Mommy must be in a good mood! She leaves and I’m lying on the couch again and the smell comes back. I immediately get up and go to the hole in the cupboard, the thing runs out and runs right through my legs!

I see it! This is the most exciting moment of my life! This is more exciting than when Mommy comes home with a new box!

I spin around and chase it. I think I scared it because it runs into the wall and tries to squeeze itself in a small hole but it doesn’t fit!

THANK GOODNESS!

This is my chance! I pounce and catch it between my paws. I don’t know what comes over me but I bite it hard, and it stops moving.

Hmm, hello, little furry thing. Move again, please. I’m not done playing.

I pat it around for a bit and nothing. All right, boring. I’m tired, time for a nap. I put it in one of my fav boxes for now.

Mommy comes home when I’m napping and she must be really tired too because she goes straight to her bed. Poor tire Mommy. I decide to share my new toy with her. I grab the furry thing from the box. It’s still not moving, but I grab it and hop up onto the bed.

Mommy is lying on her tummy with her face facing the window. Her eyes are closed, I put my new fuzzy thing on her pillow beside her face, and I proceed to play our favourite game. I lick her eyelids and she opens them right away. This time I don’t land on the ground. She does. 

Michelle Wheaton lives in Mississauga alone with her 23 cats – just kidding. She lives with her one cat, Maus, who like his mom enjoys eating delicious food and taking naps.

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