As a child riding a big
orange bus to school every day, I used to pretend I was riding a tall
orange horse. I’d hold on to the top of the seat in front of me, pretending I
was holding the reins, and would always try to sit beside an open window so I
could feel the wind on my face as I imagined myself riding through the open
fields we passed.
I didn’t have my own
horse, but I remember loving horses that I saw on tv or in picture books. I
thought they were big, brave, hardworking animals with the most beautiful eyes
that could tell you stories if you were able to read them.
A funny thing
happened though when my cousin decided to call me Mare as a short form instead
of my three-syllable name, Maryanne. When I told my mom what my cousin had
called me, she told me that a mare was a female horse. I was mortified! As much
as I loved horses, I was not a horse, and no one was allowed to call me Mare.
That argument didn’t work and eventually Mare became my nickname.
Starting Kindergarten
in the fall of 1965 made me feel grown up and even though we had to take a nap
every day after lunch, I still felt like a big girl who was ready to learn
everything my teacher had to teach me.
One thing I loved doing in kindergarten was painting and, of course, horses were my favourite subject. A really fun part about painting was that I got to wear one of my dad’s old fancy shirts which was way too big for me and felt like a long dress. It used to make me giggle when I put it on over my clothes and I loved that I could get paint on it and not get in trouble.
I remembered that my mom used to iron this shirt
for my dad before it became my painting shirt, so it was like having both of my
parents there with me, which made going to school not quite so scary.
One day, during our
afternoon nap, which I truly did enjoy, my teacher came and woke me up. I was
confused and didn’t understand why she was doing this. Mrs. Blunt motioned for
me to follow her to where we had been painting that morning.
When we were both
standing in front of my picture that was drying nicely in the breeze coming in
through the open windows, Mrs. Blunt whispered these words to me, “Maryanne,
you did a lovely drawing of your horse this morning (I could feel there was a
“but” coming), but there is a little problem. I would like you to redo your
painting because you painted your horse purple and horses are not purple.”
I took a big gulp of
air. I didn’t want to cry in front of my teacher, but I did want to cry. My
feelings were hurt and I was sad. What was wrong with a purple horse? Why did
we have so many different colours if we weren’t allowed to use them? Would I be
punished if I refused to change the colour of my horse? Would I fail
kindergarten?
I finally did as asked,
as I couldn’t take the chance of failing kindergarten, but I never loved or
enjoyed art the same way after that. I always feared that I would do something
wrong.
As a teacher, some 35
years later, I would tell my students my story about the purple horse and how tool
away all my confidence. No matter what I
drew, even if it was just a stick man on the board, they would compliment me
and say, “Ms. G., that’s the best stick man ever!” They were so sweet and
considerate of my feelings and truly understood the pain I’d felt.
This childhood
experience helped me understand the power I had as a teacher to encourage or to
destroy creativity. I always wonder what would have happened if Mrs. Blunt had
not stomped all over my creativity. Perhaps I would have created an equine
playmate for the purple dinosaur named Barney.
***
Maryanne Giangregorio is a retired elementary school teacher, originally from Fruitland, outside
of Hamilton, who has relocated to Chatham, Ontario, where she enjoys the
most amazing sunsets that settle on the farmer's field across from her
backyard.
See Brian Henry’s upcoming weekly writing classes, one-day workshops, and weekend retreats here.
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