Losing
weight has been top of mind since I was 14.
Looking back, I can’t
believe how good I looked as a teenager. I was slender and muscular from years
of dance, figure skating and running.
Forty years and 40 pounds
later, I’m still talking about the need to lose 10 pounds.
Right now, I’m eating
chocolate chip cookies and drinking hot chocolate while writing about losing
weight.
Friends tell me about the
effectiveness of keto diets, protein shakes, about going vegan and losing 35
pounds of meat fat.
I can lose five pounds
with a lot of effort but I always find it again.
I tried the work-out
regime. I lost five pounds which led to a celebration where I drank wine and
ate dessert. I gained four pounds in a weekend. Then out of despair, I ate
chocolate and added another.
Working at a physically
demanding job last winter, I lost five pounds. I gained it back in the spring.
Then I took another
physically active job this summer and lost five pounds. Celebration. This time
I didn’t gain back the five pounds - until Halloween candy came out.
Purchasing a box of 100
mini chocolate bars, it sat perkily in a corner, all sealed in its red box.
Curses. My husband opened the box of mini chocolate bars and what’s a slice off
a cut loaf? Of course, you have to sample each type in the box and then have a
second of your favourite.
By Halloween, I’d gained
back the five pounds and am now faced with the same perpetual task.
You see, I’m a chocoholic.
I love chocolate eclairs, chocolate bars, chocolate chip cookies, brownies,
chocolate popsicles and frozen yogurt, which actually has less sugar than
vanilla.
Chocolate is No. 1. I don’t
care about chips. I could never each a chip again and be happy.
Chocolate is perfect when
you want to celebrate life’s important anniversaries and accomplishments. It’s
also perfect as an after dinner snack, a little reward for working so hard
during the day. And who doesn’t need a little sweet after a bitter lunch?
What’s better after a
tragedy, a disappointment, a high-stress situation? Chocolate anything soothes
the soul.
If I only craved
chocolate, I’d be fine, but I also like any baking featuring cinnamon, lemon,
applies or berries. Peanut butter and raspberry jam on sourdough bread is
divine when you are in need of something to bit your teeth into.
Oh and I should mention my
years’ long quest for the perfect butter tart. I like light pasty and lots of
butter goo with raisins.
At the end of winter,
comes the maple syrup season, a toast to spring. Maple is also excellent
flavour in butter tarts.
Now I know it’s hard for
you to understand why I’m not losing weight when it’s my goal. In my mind, I’m
losing weight even while eating cookies. Surely the full day’s activities will
burn more calories than my simple meals and a couple of small treats. This I
tell myself everyday.
To cut down on sugar, I eat
dark chocolate but if milk chocolate is all that’s available, then I guess it
will do. Really, I will eat any chocolate except for the dollar store foil
wrapped chocolate balls because they are just brown wax.
I know I’m not thin. I
picture myself just right, even though I could float in a pool without a
noodle.
I’m happy and healthy. I
like who I am most of the time. I like going on outdoor adventures as long as I
don’t miss dinner.
Once at a fall party,
wearing a cranberry lace top and skirt, I told a man “I’m at my full winter
weight” and swung by big butt out to the side. He looked confused and soon left
the room. I don’t know where he went.
I’m not fat. I just have a
small head and short legs.
Oh dear. Would someone
just pick me up and take me to the gym and back because I can’t do it by
myself. I’ll go as long as we can stop for a coffee and chocolate donut on the
way home.
***
Gisele Winton Sarvis worked as a print journalist across Simcoe County for more than 30 years. She is now trying her hand at creative writing. She burns off cookie calories by walking with her chocolate lab.
***
See Brian Henry’s upcoming weekly writing classes, one-day workshops, and weekend
retreats here.
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