Any minute now, her
house would be robbed, and she’d be to blame.
“Grande chai tea latte!”
the barista barked.
The coarse holler
snapped her back into focus and she nudged her way through the unorganized
queue to grab her order. She had asked
for a venti but was too defeated to play the assertive card.
As she perched on a seat
by the window, she regretted her decision to go out for a coffee. Why didn’t I double-check? she berated
herself. She should have made sure her front door
was locked!
She sipped her chai and
tried to pull her mind away from the repetitive doubt.
“Good
checking is checking once,” the voice of her therapist
echoed in her mind. Had she checked
once? Or had she been too distracted by
her neighbor. The man had looked up from his gardening to make small talk just
as she’d been leaving. He’d broken her pattern entirely.
Now she could feel the
urge creeping in to head back home, just to check she had locked the door.
What if the damage was
already done? News reports of recent
robberies in a nearby subdivision taunted her.
The crooks were surely ready to graduate to new territory and an unlocked entrance made for an easy
target. The thieves had the setting sun on their side, too – lots of shadows to
evade detection.
A ransacking felt
inevitable. Her urge was morphing toward panic.
She swallowed a gulp of tea.
Any ancient wisdom about tea being a calming agent felt like a boldfaced
lie. Her bloody therapist – all his
words seemed like mockery. She felt as
though she’d regressed four months but, underneath the layers of fear, knew
better.
Four months ago she
wouldn’t have made it to Starbucks for her supposed-to-be venti; four months
ago she would have been jiggling the door handle like a broken record, unable
to take the mental snapshot she needed to assure her it was secure; four months
ago she would have circled around the block to check one final time. But now there
she was, four months later, sitting in Starbuck. Hardly relaxed, but there,
nonetheless.
To regress would be to
return home to check the lock. Or would
it? Everyone
has relapses. It’s practically the in thing to do in Hollywood.
But this wasn’t The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. If she did it, if she let the allure of doubt
win, she’d have to admit defeat to her therapist – she wasn’t paying $150 a
session to lie.
Then again, it was her
hundred and fifty bucks. He didn’t have to know. This was her mistake to make. Yes! She chugged back the last of her tea, clumsily
grabbed for her coat and darted towards the door, brushing past with the newly
arriving caffeine addicts.
The drive home was
twelve and a half minutes if she got all the lights, fifteen if she didn’t; relief
was imminent. But as she went to reach
for her car keys she realized she was still holding her empty cup of tea. And it clicked: she was holding onto
something she no longer needed.
She had checked the
lock. She must have – there was no way in a million years she would have
forgotten to check. She took a deep shuddering breath, then walked towards the
trashcan and tossed her empty cup.
Maybe
this ancient tea wisdom thing is on to something, she
mused, and headed back in to Starbucks for her venti.
Melanie Lefebvre’s first stab at writing was at age
three with her self-proclaimed cutest title, “I Cleaned a Little.” She’s written leisurely since but her
husband’s recent gig with photography has inspired her to kick it up a
notch. She’s checking out the Northern
Ontario writing scene in hopes to grab her hobby by the horns. And if nothing else, there’s always NaNoWriMo.
See Brian Henry’s schedule here, including
writing workshops and creative writing courses in Kingston, Peterborough,
Toronto, Mississauga, Brampton, Bolton, Caledon, Georgetown, Milton,
Oakville, Burlington, St. Catharines, Hamilton, Dundas, Kitchener, Guelph,
London, Woodstock, Orangeville, Newmarket, Barrie, Orillia, Sudbury,
Muskoka, Peel, Halton, the GTA, Ontario and beyond.
What a beautiful short story! You (Melanie) have captured the anxiety perfectly... I can feel the fear and panic seeping out of the character... Looking forward to reading more...
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