Busy, busy, and busier
still – an attempt to keep from falling down, down and down still, into
darkness.
Grief is so close I can
taste it. I know it will poison me if I
ingest it and so I stay, mouth shut, not taking much of anything in. My
fraternal twin sister Lizzie has died.
Every second of the past eight months has been noted and freeze
framed. Will I ever be carefree again?
Will time ever pass me by in a simple way?
I am at an event
sponsored by an organization supporting women in business. The owner of an Oakville consignment store is
displaying her wares and giving her business a boost by providing wine and
stuff to eat. I choose wine in the same
way that I have chosen not to feel. Any
anesthetic will do.
Neutral seems like a
safe emotional zone and so with an artificial smile on my face and glass in
hand I move through the store.
At the back of the store
I am completely caught off guard.
There is this picture
with Piglet and Pooh telling me “It is So Much Friendlier With Two”
And here, in this
tsunami of perspective altering, I felt joy and gratitude.
I had known my sister
for 58 years and I can tell you clearly, it was so much more friendlier with
two.
There they were, there
we were, holding hands, facing forward, Piglet bringing along one flower, on
this expedition called living. We had
always walked forward together, one step at a time, Lizzie’s little hand in
Anne’s big hand with Lizzie bringing along beauty, loyalty, hope and joy.
And in that
infinitesimal moment I felt the shift from grief to joy. It was in this moment that I knew that Lizzie
and I were still facing forward together, hand-in-hand in a way that I was just
beginning to understand and know.
It was gratitude that
knocked me over and poured out joy.
Oh yes Lizzie, it is so
much friendlier with two. I love you.
Anne Peace writes about her life and
the lives of those around her. She has had careers as a Public Health Nurse in
Peel, an Early Childhood Educator at Sheridan College and now enjoys coaching
clients who are in transition in their lives. She has co-authored a
self-published book called "Newborn Life. Fostering Joy In the First Year
of Motherhood" She is a mother, grandmother,friend, speaker, author and
lover of life.
See Brian Henry's schedule here, including writing workshops and creative writing courses in Kingston, Peterborough, Toronto, Mississauga, Brampton, Georgetown, Milton, Oakville, Burlington, St. Catharines, Hamilton, Dundas, Kitchener, Guelph, London, Woodstock, Orangeville, Newmarket, Barrie, Gravenhurst, Sudbury, Muskoka, Peel, Halton, the GTA, Ontario and beyond.
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