I'm not very sentimental, and not one for keepsakes, mementoes and pictures. But there's a crescent-shaped scar on the first knuckle of my right hand that never fails to remind me of some events that occurred when I was a child growing up in a hamlet called Strabane.
My family lived on a
country road with a few neighbours but no one nearby of my age. As number four
of seven children, I was the stereotypical neglected middle child. My father
was at work in Hamilton every day. All of the big kids (my older brother and
two sisters) went to school while the little kids (my younger brother and two
sisters) were at home taking up my mother's time and energy. As a result, I was
left to my own devices much of the time.
I tried to help my mother by pulling weeds out of her vegetable garden but to my eyes all the plants looked the same, and she was not pleased. I brought her a bouquet of wildflowers from the field but it turned out we both had hay fever. I went to catch pollywogs in the creek but fell in, appearing at the back door in clothes so muddy I had to be hosed off before I was allowed to enter the house. Feeling unwanted and unloved, I tried to run away from home, but couldn't get past the end of our driveway because I wasn't allowed to cross the road by myself.
I tried to help my mother by pulling weeds out of her vegetable garden but to my eyes all the plants looked the same, and she was not pleased. I brought her a bouquet of wildflowers from the field but it turned out we both had hay fever. I went to catch pollywogs in the creek but fell in, appearing at the back door in clothes so muddy I had to be hosed off before I was allowed to enter the house. Feeling unwanted and unloved, I tried to run away from home, but couldn't get past the end of our driveway because I wasn't allowed to cross the road by myself.
Too young to go to
school and too old to play with the babies, always either underfoot or ignored:
by the age of five I was in need of a big change in my life. I needed something
important and useful to do. I needed to go to school.
I turned six in June and
finally, after a very long summer, the big day came. My mother braided my hair
in pigtails and dressed me in leotards, a starched white blouse and a plaid
skirt.
I had a reputation as a puker in situations of stress or excitement, so my sister Beth, under strict orders to make sure I arrived clean, fulfilled her obligation by marching me down the road at arm's length so I couldn't throw up on her new shoes.
I had a reputation as a puker in situations of stress or excitement, so my sister Beth, under strict orders to make sure I arrived clean, fulfilled her obligation by marching me down the road at arm's length so I couldn't throw up on her new shoes.
My sister Susan shared a classroom and a teacher with me but she was in grade three, sitting on the far left of the room and pretending not to know me. We were instructed to sit in alphabetical order, so I was second from the back.
Unbeknownst to everyone, including me, my eyesight was quite poor, so everything written on the chalkboard or at the front of the room looked fuzzy. We were given thick red pencils which my little fingers found quite difficult to hold. The boy behind me used his to poke me in the back repeatedly. I soon learned that yelling out in class was a bad idea.
For the first month or
two, the grade ones were only expected to attend school until lunchtime, so at
noon my first school day was over. During the summer I had received strict
instruction on how to walk properly on a country road with no sidewalks: always
face the traffic, walk on the shoulder when vehicles approach, look directly at
the driver. I was now allowed to cross the road by myself and had practiced
with my siblings, but this was the first time I was to walk home alone.
I got halfway there
before I ran into a problem. The Ormerods' flock of geese, usually to be found
swimming about in their pond, had meandered onto the road and were spread
across the bridge, blocking my path. These were big Greylag geese, well known
to be aggressive. The gander, at least as tall as me, sensed my fear and
immediately turned in my direction. I backed up a few steps and he took a run
at me, flapping his wings and hissing loudly. I turned and ran, stopping a
short distance up the road.
I waited and waited, hoping in vain that the geese might forget about me and waddle off home, or that a car might come along and force them to scatter. No such luck.
I waited and waited, hoping in vain that the geese might forget about me and waddle off home, or that a car might come along and force them to scatter. No such luck.
Eventually I walked back
to school. When I appeared in the doorway, my teacher immediately summoned one
of my older sisters to take me home. Naturally, by the time we got back to the
bridge the geese were gone.
Several days later I was
again headed for home, skipping along and singing to myself. As I passed the
Walkers' house I saw their little black dog lurking behind the lilac bushes on
the front lawn. I had been warned a dozen times that dogs will chase you if you
run, but I couldn't help myself. He shot out, caught up with me and clamped his
jaws around my calf.
I fell on the gravel shoulder of the road and scraped both my knees. Thrusting out my arms in an attempt to break my fall, my right hand met the curved bottom of a broken Coca-Cola bottle which sliced upward into the knuckle of my first finger. The dog, having completed his mission, skulked back behind the bushes to await his next victim. I got up and limped home, bloodied and bruised.
I fell on the gravel shoulder of the road and scraped both my knees. Thrusting out my arms in an attempt to break my fall, my right hand met the curved bottom of a broken Coca-Cola bottle which sliced upward into the knuckle of my first finger. The dog, having completed his mission, skulked back behind the bushes to await his next victim. I got up and limped home, bloodied and bruised.
This second incident was
too much for my mother. She decreed that henceforth I should stay at school all
day so I could be accompanied by at least one of my siblings on the walk home.
Since I was the only child in grade one in the afternoons, the teacher moved me
up to the front and I happily read books the rest of the day while listening to
the lessons taught to the other grades.
There is still a very
faint scar on my left calf from the dog bite, visible if I look hard enough. I
rarely notice the one on my knuckle anymore. I still have six brothers and
sisters, now spread around the world. The geese and the dog are long gone, but
the lilacs and the pond remain. Strabane School still stands, but was sold by
the school board and became someone's house at least twenty years ago. All of
this reminds me that I, too, am different yet still the same, at heart the
little girl in pigtails skipping up the road with one eye out for danger but
still stopping to listen to the frogs.
Anne Burlakoff is not of Green Gables but fantasized that she was for a number of
her childhood years. She currently lives in Dundas, Ontario, and is working her
way through Brian Henry’s classes one by one.”
See Brian Henry’s schedule here, including writing workshops
and creative writing courses in Algonquin Park, Bolton, Barrie,
Brampton, Burlington, Caledon, Georgetown, Guelph, Hamilton, Ingersoll,
Kingston, Kitchener, London, Midland, Mississauga, Oakville, Ottawa, Peterborough,
St. Catharines, St. John, NB, Sudbury, Thessalon, Toronto, Windsor, Woodstock,
Halton, Kitchener-Waterloo, Muskoka, Peel, Simcoe, York Region, the GTA,
Ontario and beyond.
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